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Cannot remember dates to save my life. Well, I can, but not the ACTUAL date, at the moment. I can tell you that Britain declared war on Germany on my birthday, but 59 years before. I can tell you it was my puppy's birthday yesterday. I can tell you lots of useless crap, but not the date, it just escapes my brain.

Anyway, stuff. Stuff stuff stuff. I've been having a hell of a shitty time, so promised updates haven't exactly been forthcoming. I DO have some pictures, I really do, and I WILL get round to scanning the fuckers at some point. Cross my heart, hope to die. I always figured there was more to that "cross my heart" bollocks, unless one truly does hope to die every time one proclaims it. Hey, I'm not arguing.

So I've not been sleeping. I've not been coping, really, but the sleep thing is killing me. I went to the doc for some help and he duly obliged in the form of a TCA . Fun shit. It doesn't seem to help much. Useless shit. Toxic, useless shit. It has one use but it ain't helping me get a good night's rest.

Oh, what else. I had something. I swear, I did, it was right there in my head. I'm gesticulating at my head, right now, so just...just think about that, k? That's what I'm doing. There was stuff in there, buried under the compressed strata of years of bullshit and hurt and fail. I'm having a tough time excavating at the moment though, so bear with me. Ugh, bears. Oh, right, yes, cameras. Did I mention this in my last blog thingy? I don't remember. Maybe it was on my website. You should visit my website. There's a link somewhere down there. Click it. You can subscribe and everything. I swear I'll update more often, cross my heart and...etc etc. Needles in eyes, no thank you. Yes, so I want to get me a nice piece of camera. I'm thinking Canon EOS 500D. Little bit out of my price range at the moment. Thus...

COMMISSIONS.

So, loyal viewers, many of whom are poor students (I need a richer target demographic, har har), I WILL be accepting commissions. Rest assured, stuff I get paid for is of supremely high quality compared to the bullshit I upload here. Price negotiable. C'mon guys, help a poor git like me out. £10-£20 a pop, that's BEYOND reasonable. I'd never enter something in an exhibition for such a low price. Just think, ten years time, I'll be dead and my works' value will SKYROCKET. Potential millionaire shit, right there, for less than £20! How can you
say no?

Right, last thing. I'm bisexual, many of the people who read this probably already know, maybe you are, maybe you've considered it, thought about it, wondered whether you are, maybe you know someone who is, maybe you're just open-minded enough not to condemn us. I have a poster! For you! It's not my own work (mine would be prettier kthx), but the points it makes are valid and useful. Feel free to reproduce, perhaps we can re-educate some morons who are missing the point, or something. I don't know.

[link]

Poster, there ^ See?

Read it, please. I'm tired of people getting the wrong end of the stick. I'm not a slut; no, the fact that I'm not a super-hot porn star does not mean I'm not really bi; no, I will not have a threesome with you and your manky partner. Understood? Good.

I could go on, but I'm sure I've lost half my audience by now, so I'll wave you all goodbye, hopefully not for good but hey, I don't predict the future. Laters!